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My Vision for Go Big!
On March 7, 2008 my life got turned upside down. I was unexpectedly diagnosed with a brain tumor which was so not on my to do list! Equally unexpectedly, I had neurosurgery on March 20 and the results of the biopsy indicated that the tumor was benign. Thank God! Along this journey, I have taken solace in the fact that this is a huge opportunity for us all.
I am a clinical psychology doctoral student at Vanderbilt University. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to make a huge difference in the world. For a couple of days, I actually feared that I had wished this scary and chaotic experience on myself and my loved ones, but then I was reminded that "life prepares life" and it all started making a bit more sense.
In a whirlwind of pre-operative appointments, Dr. Kyle Weaver, my neurosurgeon, told me that I should "hold onto my blood" which was a huge blow to me as I try to be a regular blood donor. Without skipping a beat, however, my advisor, Dr. Bruce Compas, made me an offer to "pick up the slack" which I believe was the impetus for this whole GO BIG challenge as it struck me then that perhaps we can all be doing just a little more.
As a person who hopes to make a profession and a life of helping children and families, I'm committed to helping others in the best way I know how. Consistently, I work with parents and children teaching them to praise the good and ignore the bad. Not my idea, but it is a behavioral principle that works. Now, don't get me wrong--I'm not blind to the evil in this world. In fact, I'm struck by our culture's fascination with drama, hurt, despair, and scandal. It absolutely blows my mind that these negatives suck so much of our attention that we can relatively easily forget all of the 1000's acts of kindness that are going on right this very minute.
My hope is that this website can be a central location for all of us to capture all of the really awesome things that we are already doing and that we can all be inspired by each other's goodness. It's not an original or courageous idea (although some have called it that), it is just an opportunity to do something that I've always wanted to do. And, I'll bet that if I'm anything like you, I'm just doing the best that I can in this moment. Sometimes that means that I offend people. We are all imperfectly perfect and I know that that is where the true beauty lies.
There are no absolute rules because I couldn't possibly predict the creative and imaginative ways that we can each help one another. Well, that's a lie. There is really just one rule: do what you feel in your heart! Try not to feel like what you do doesn't matter. It does! If you don't believe me, read the postings for yourself and see what you think. To somebody in that moment, you will have made a difference and for that I am eternally grateful.
So if you feel it in your heart or your head or whatever pushes you to act, try to do something. Nothing is too small and nothing is too big. Just put one foot in front of the other, and if you wish, take a risk.
Overwhelmed with a sea of emotions and an outpouring of support from our community, Austin, the love of my life, and I have felt so very blessed. I believe that there is always meaning out there in this precious world of ours, sometimes you just have to squint to find it. This past several weeks has been a truly rock ride and my guess is that life always will be. So, step aboard if you are up for the challenge and let's see how far we can get this good to spread.
With great gratitude,
23 comments:
Jenni,
You are in my thoughts and prayers every second of every day. There is no one I know who is more positive and strong with a better attitude than you to go through this kind of experience and I hope that this scary time goes by very quickly for you and that you have a speedy and easy recovery. If there is anything I can do, ANYTHING AT ALL, please let me know. I will be sending positive vibes from Boston and promise to "Go Big" for you in the next few weeks and will keep you posted.
Big hugs and best of luck on Thursday. Stay positive and I hope to see you soon.
xoxo - Jen
Jenni,
I know we don't know each other well, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and I'm sending lots of positive energy your way.
Thank you for challenging me and all of us to 'go big'. If karma does exist, and I believe it does, there are great things in store for you.
I made a donation to Nashville's local red cross chapter in your honor today.
Take care,
Amanda Carrico
Hey Jenni!
This morning, I donated blood for the first time. Thanks for inspiring me to do something that I've wanted to do for a long time but was too scared to do. I didn't even pass out (which I was afraid would happen)! You are in my thoughts and prayers every day.
Angela Shears
Today I lent my hairdryer to a frantic woman at the gym who was worried that if she showed up to work with a wet head they would know that she was skipping out. It may not have been a huge "go big" action, but it did make her day.
This morning's walk took me to Starbucks (a regular stopping spot for Jenni, but not for me). Feeling the urge to do something kind in your honor, I bought drinks for the two 20 somethings in line behind me. It's amazing, I practically had to beg them to accept the gift insisting that I really wanted to do this small gesture for them. I guess in California we are sometimes a little suspicious of kind gestures from stangers. Any way, they finally did graciously accept my offer, and I went on my merry way, smiling all the way home.
Love you lots, Jen
See you soon
Tar
I ran an errand for a friend today to make her day a little bit easier.
after spending the afternoon running moving-related errands alone so that i could get some schoolwork done, carl came home and surprised me with a bag of my favorite easter candy. it made my day.
Hi Jenni,
Phil and I are praying up a storm for you. I made a donation to the NYC Foodbank in your honor today. You "nourish" everyone around you!
XOXO,
Bekki
Hi Jenni,
Last night at dinner we toasted to you and your health. I know it is so little, but you are constantly on my mind. All of my energy is going to helping you through this time. I am excited to do random acts of kindness in your honor.
Love, michele
Jenni,
I have never met you, but I am incredibly touched by your story and your grace. God be with you as you undergo your proceedure.
I work at a group home, and I am going to share your incredible message to my teenage girls.
I just thought you'd like to know that as I'm writing this, Amazing Grace came on my itunes... God is listening!!
Thank you, again.
Decided to pray for your health, depend on the surgeon's great knowledge and skill, and keep the office staff healthy so that they could do good deeds in the world.
Went out and bought healthy snacks for the office crew..oranges, tangerines, nuts, and freeze dried apple slices, very tasty!
Tar
Hi Jenni –
I am so sorry to hear about this. I am sure it is a very hard and scary thing for you and your whole family to go through. Keep your spirits up! My thoughts and prayers are with you for a speedy recovery! I will definitely be practicing random acts of kindness. It is a wonderful way to send positive energy your way!
Patti @ Champion Development
Hi Jenni!
You don't know me but I work with your aunt Tari! Just wanted to send you love and prayers on your healing journey. I'll be sure to post a link from my blog so that we can spread your wish around. You have a wonderful idea here and I hope that reading these comments will bring you as much joy and healing as it does to all the people that do an act of kindness.
While I was in Costco today my daughter and I were sitting having lunch and this Very overwhelmed mom of twins and a newborn was trying to stand in line to order. I offered to keep an eye on her kiddos at the table so that she could order lunch.
Lots of love-
Jen Moore (ocjen)
Hi Jenni,
Today I went through my old clothes and found a bunch to donate. I'm going to drop them off at Goodwill tomorrow morning.
I'm thinking of you and sending positive vibes your way.
Erin :)
Jenni,
I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I will be praying that God will guide the surgeon and all the doctors and nurses, that your surgery will go well, and that you will have a speedy recovery.
This week I will donate blood in your honor.
Peace, Jennifer Bradley Yoder
(the "Big O's" sister)
Jenni,
A serendipitous thing happened today. I sent an email out to several of my fellow interns and colleagues at Duke telling them about Go Big for Jenni. One of my fellow interns replied and let me know that Angels Among Us (a local agency that supports the brain tumor clinic here at Duke) had volunteered to answer the phones for the UNC-TV telethon this evening in exchange for publicity about an upcoming walk/run in support of brain tumor research and treatment. They were scrambling for volunteers at the last minute so I spent my evening serving as a telethon operator. In between answering calls, I met several wonderful people whose lives had been affected either directly or indirectly by brain tumors. I told them about Go Big For Jenni and they are all sending positive vibes and prayers your way. Inspired by each of them as well as you, I decided to sign up to take part in the walk/run on April 26. Their website is http://www.angelsamongus.org/ if you want to read more about them.
Also, 6 of my colleagues and myself contacted the Red Cross today and made appointments to give blood.
Your courage and selflessness has been a total inspiration to me. This year I have gotten so wrapped up in the busyness of internship that I often lose site of the things that really matter. Go Big for Jenni has served as a reality check for me and made me stop and think about all of the things I have to be thankful for and how I can give back.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I will continue to send good vibes in your direction by finding a way to make someone smile each and everyday.
Alanna
You are in my prayers and you will certainly be in my thoughts during your surgery. I know I don't know you well, but my heart goes out to you and I know you are going to pull out of your surgery great! Be Brave and know there are people pulling for you!
(BTW) This is Caitlin's next door neighbor Lisa!
We were devastated when Maria told us about your illness. We just read your blog and saw your wishes. It is so kind of you to ask everyone to do something for others.
Here in Winnipeg we have a humanitarian agency whose mandate it is to alleviate the hardship of poverty and homelessness by providing free meals, shelter, clothing, and support to homeless and disadvantaged people. Each year among their many services they provide special meals at a number of holidays. In your honour Pat and I made a donation to provide an Easter dinner to twenty of the people they serve.
You are in our thoughts and prayers as you go through this trying time.
- Pat and Brian Huzel
Hi Jenni,
Jen and I just signed up to donate blood on Friday. They've turned me away the last two times I've tried because of low iron, so I plan to eat lots of iron rich foods over the next two days to be sure I can donate :) Good luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.
-Sarah
Jenni
Glad to hear things went well today! I knew it would! Yesterday, I cleaned out the garage and will be donating tons of stuff to the neighbors, the truth is I have too much collected items I can't seem to part with - but it is time - I have been thinking of you and your family all day --
I wish I was there to hug everyone especially, you, your mom and aunt Tari, grandma and grandpa -- XXOO Anna Marie --- I love you all!
Well wishes from Southern California! My prayers are with you this whole day. I'll keep those random acts going on this end... you keep up the hard work to recovery on yours!!!
Love, Margarita, Joe, Kecia, Keifer, Kurtis & KADEN who is in your neice's preschool class.:)
Hi Jenni,
I'm a friend of Maria's. I had a friend that was recently in the same situation. He had just had his second baby when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He had a successful surgery!!! He's doing well and recovered amazingly. It was a long road to getting back to normal speech & memory function, but he's there. I hope this helps give you hope. I wish you the best for a succesful surgery and speedy recovery!
- Gina Casagrande
Cousin,
Just wanted to let you know that the Casilllas clan has you in our thoughts. We hope that you have a speedy recovery and that your story continues to inspire others to "GO Big".
Chris, Shan, and kids
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