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My Vision for Go Big!
On March 7, 2008 my life got turned upside down. I was unexpectedly diagnosed with a brain tumor which was so not on my to do list! Equally unexpectedly, I had neurosurgery on March 20 and the results of the biopsy indicated that the tumor was benign. Thank God! Along this journey, I have taken solace in the fact that this is a huge opportunity for us all.
I am a clinical psychology doctoral student at Vanderbilt University. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to make a huge difference in the world. For a couple of days, I actually feared that I had wished this scary and chaotic experience on myself and my loved ones, but then I was reminded that "life prepares life" and it all started making a bit more sense.
In a whirlwind of pre-operative appointments, Dr. Kyle Weaver, my neurosurgeon, told me that I should "hold onto my blood" which was a huge blow to me as I try to be a regular blood donor. Without skipping a beat, however, my advisor, Dr. Bruce Compas, made me an offer to "pick up the slack" which I believe was the impetus for this whole GO BIG challenge as it struck me then that perhaps we can all be doing just a little more.
As a person who hopes to make a profession and a life of helping children and families, I'm committed to helping others in the best way I know how. Consistently, I work with parents and children teaching them to praise the good and ignore the bad. Not my idea, but it is a behavioral principle that works. Now, don't get me wrong--I'm not blind to the evil in this world. In fact, I'm struck by our culture's fascination with drama, hurt, despair, and scandal. It absolutely blows my mind that these negatives suck so much of our attention that we can relatively easily forget all of the 1000's acts of kindness that are going on right this very minute.
My hope is that this website can be a central location for all of us to capture all of the really awesome things that we are already doing and that we can all be inspired by each other's goodness. It's not an original or courageous idea (although some have called it that), it is just an opportunity to do something that I've always wanted to do. And, I'll bet that if I'm anything like you, I'm just doing the best that I can in this moment. Sometimes that means that I offend people. We are all imperfectly perfect and I know that that is where the true beauty lies.
There are no absolute rules because I couldn't possibly predict the creative and imaginative ways that we can each help one another. Well, that's a lie. There is really just one rule: do what you feel in your heart! Try not to feel like what you do doesn't matter. It does! If you don't believe me, read the postings for yourself and see what you think. To somebody in that moment, you will have made a difference and for that I am eternally grateful.
So if you feel it in your heart or your head or whatever pushes you to act, try to do something. Nothing is too small and nothing is too big. Just put one foot in front of the other, and if you wish, take a risk.
Overwhelmed with a sea of emotions and an outpouring of support from our community, Austin, the love of my life, and I have felt so very blessed. I believe that there is always meaning out there in this precious world of ours, sometimes you just have to squint to find it. This past several weeks has been a truly rock ride and my guess is that life always will be. So, step aboard if you are up for the challenge and let's see how far we can get this good to spread.
With great gratitude,
32 comments:
Happy Birthday, Jenni! I miss seeing your lovely face around the department, and I hope you are feeling stronger and stronger each day! I just made a small donation to the Nashville Rescue Mission in honor of your special day. Have a wonderful day!
Love,
Shelly
A very HAPPY BIRTHDAY Jenni! My wish for you is a completely healthy year and many blessings.
With love,
Rosemary
Hey there birthday girl!! We hope you have a fabulous day filled with laughter, smiles, and lots of hugs! Caroline and I look forward to coming to visit you soon!
Much love!
laura head
Hi Jenni! Happy Birthday sweetie! Thinking about you all the time and sending you my love!
xoxoxo, Jenn Detmer-Fearnow
Happy Birthday, Jenni!! I'm so glad to read that you're feeling good and recovering well from surgery :)
Scott and I are going to give blood as soon as the waiting period after our last donation ends - I'm pretty sure we'll be donating in your honor next week!
Happy, happy birthday :)
Kari B.
Happy Birthday Jenni! Looking forward to the birthday/planning meeting later today. Hope you are having a great day.
My small act of kindness for the day is that I emailed and made plans to hang out with an old friend who I had fallen out of touch with and had not been on good terms with for awhile.
Happy Birthday to you!! Wishing you many years of health and happiness. Stay strong and positive. I love you!
My local Starbucks is great at "going big". They are currently running a consumables drive for a preschool that cares for tots living in homeless shelters. I went "big" by bringing in some cleaning items off their wish list.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JENNI!
I haven't posted in a little while, but my "big" acts over the last week included lending my ear to friends in distress, giving my "how to write a dissertation" books away to a grad student (ok, maybe that act was a little selfish--it was good to see them go!), and donating items to a charity.
Received kindness--Bruce is talking to me weekly and helping me with career planning. What a guy!
Dear Jenni-
Jane Cohen told me about your situation and what a wonderful gal you are. You have definitely inspired to continue giving and doing good things for others. My daughter, Jenny Orfuss, and I wish you a speedy recovery and as I noticed today is your birthday, we also wish you a healthy and happy 29th!
Regards,
Lois Orfuss
Happy Birthday Jenni!!
You've inspired me to spend time each day helping some of my undergraduate students deal with the stress of college and grad school applications. Hope you have a wonderful birthday!
Love,
Fanny
Happy Birthday, dear friend! I hope to stop by later this afternoon to give you the traditional birthday hug (better than the traditional birthday slap on the behind, if you ask me!).
Act of kindness received: My gentlemanfriend just took me out to lunch. It was a very special treat!
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear Jenni,
Happy birthday to you.
(put in the voice of your choice, you wouldn't want the live version)
Happy Birthday again! I hope you did something fun today like getting your nails done ;) Hope you enjoyed the breakfast goodies too. It was great to see you briefly and look forward to your smiling face again around here.
Sarah M.
Happy Birthday, Jenni!! For my not-completely-random act of kindness, I gave you top billing on my blog. The random part kicks in when some curious reader, desperate for inspiration or a sign or an answer, unsuspectingly clicks the link to see "just who does this Jenni think she is?!"
Missing that smile & that contagious personality,
Eban
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNI!!!!!
Several people around me have done nice things today so I'm reporting for them. One person in my lab sat down with me and patiently explained how to do (what felt like) very complicated statistics problems. Another person bought me a nut tart as a surprise treat.
Now I'm going to work on my own good deeds!
Happy Birthday, Jenni! All the Cohens are thinking about you today and sending the most special wishes. I told all of my staff about you and your website. One of them decided to "go big" by randomly paying the parking lot exit toll for the elderly woman in the car behind him. He said that the look on her face when she reached the toll booth was worth a million dollars!
Sending love,
Jane
Happy Birthday Jenni-It is such a sweet blessing to all of us that you were born! I am so glad you a recovering well-I am also extending well wishes from another mom and child-they were very happy to hear you are recovering well!
Paris GB
Happy birthday, Jenni! It's my mom's birthday today, too, and when I called her to send my love, she asked about how you were doing. She was very happy to hear that you're at home now and recovering well.
Here's a bit of wonderful: As I drove home today, I stopped at a 4-way stop sign and the woman in the car to my left was just sitting there smiling. She looked me straight in the eye, and smiled. She did the same to the car on her left. Her positive energy was just radiating. What an inspiration!
happy birthday jenni
wishing you all that is good!
love from the talla family
Happy Birthday Jenni!!
Thinking of you Beautiful Girl!!
Jenni,
I was able to experience a few nice things today - I shared your blogsite & invited the entire staff to blog nice things that they see or do here! Someone shared with me how great they think I am out of the blue:) I had meetings with my team members & gave them all positive coaching!!
I am sending YOU all the good blessings I can think of! Happy Birthday again!
Love, Cheri
happy birthday jenni!
we're almost thirty! good times!
i forgot to add an act of kindness last time i posted.
i was in ralphs the other day and i didn't have a ralphs card and the woman behind me loaned me hers with no hesitation and i saved $1.50 on apples.
oh the joy of small things...
keep getting better and take care
dominique xx
Happy Birthday to my dear Jenni. Hope you and your mom had fun on your little field trip today. It must have been a reminder of your younger years, spending all day with your mom.
Wishing you continue on your upward recovery. And looking forward to hearing your success in finding the "steeple cash".
Act of kindness: made a special little trip to the grocery store for one miss Alex who is home with a cold. She needed a little TLC sorbet.
Love you,
Tar
Happy Birthday Jenni! Hope you had a great day!
Happy Birthday Jenni!!!! Many wishes for a healthy wonderful coming year.
Happy belated birthday Jenni! I hope you have a year full of blessings, happiness, and health! Every day, I am searching for "go big" actions. The other day, I made a meal for my boyfriend because he was really busy and overloaded with work. Also, the other day, a graduate student (Kezia!) took time out of her day to figure out what was going on with my super-slow computer; I'm not exactly sure what she did, but I know my computer runs faster now. She has helped me be more efficient. I hope to keep on doing more and more.
Also, I was looking at books the other day, and I saw one that reminded me of you. It's "The Power of Kindness" by Piero Ferrucci (a transpersonal psychologist). You may have already heard about it, but just thought I'd tell you about it. I might read it when I find time. We can all see, from this website, that kindness is truly powerful. Thank you for making us all more mindful of how the little things help us to "go big."
on the drive home last night, i stopped to let a mother and her two children cross the street on belmont, near the international market. the mom had her arms full of groceries and as they crossed, one of the little boys waved at me. i waved back.
Hi Jenni,
My name is Stacy, and I am Katie's Travel Agent. She told me of your situation and and I am very hopeful. Katie told me of your blog site and my act of kindness is to get as many of the girls here at AAA to tell you their acts of kindness, to put a BIG smile on your face. Hope it works!! Hope you had a wonderful birthday yesterday also. Take Care and BEST WISHES!!
~Stacy
ONE DAY WHILE FEELING ABSOLUTELY USELESS, I WAS TALKING TO MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW WHO IS A NURSE AT MILLERS CHILDRENS IN LONG BEACH. "I NEED A PROJECT TO KEEP ME BUSY AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO PLEASE LET ME KNOW" A FEW DAYS LATER SHE GOT BACK TO ME AND SUGGESTED THAT SINCE I COULD CROCHET WOULD I MAKE UP SOME HATS FOR THE PATIENTS ON HER FLOOR, THE WINTERS CAN BE SO COLD FOR THE LITTLE ONES WHO HAVE LOST THEIR HAIR. WOW!!! I FELT AMAZING. I STARTED TO CREATE THESE ORIGINAL HATS, NO TWO THE SAME AND HAD TAGS MAD UP THAT READ "ORIGINAL HOOKUPS" SEWED THEN IN AND OFF THEY WENT. WHEN SHE TOLD ME HOW EXCITED THE KIDS WERE TO BE ABLE TO PICK OUT WHAT EVER HAT THEY WANTED...MY HEART MELTED. IT CERTAINLY DOSEN'T TAKE MUCH TO MAKE A CHILD HAPPY!
Lovely Jenni.
A belated Happy Birthday wish from Bob and Evie.
God Bless and Protect you ALWAYS!
Love,
Bob and Evie
Happy Happy Happy birthday!! Sorry this is a few days belated! What an amazingly appropriate time to celebrate your life! You're gonna be here for many many many more birthdays, and the world is SO lucky for that!
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